I didn’t find out I was sick until I was 14, but I always was, & with a chronic autoimmune disease that doesn’t affect most people who get diagnosed with it until their 40s & 50s. I won’t say it was easy to find out at 14 that not only would I always have this chronic illness (Fibromyalgia, an autoimmune disease of the muscle & connective tissue characterized by an odd amalgamation of symptoms including IBS & digestive issues, chronic widespread pain & inflammation, chronic fatigue, sleep disorders, muscle tension & pain, cognitive difficulties, increased sensory sensitivity, & other physical & mental symptoms like headaches, migraines, anxiety & depression) but that it would get worse as time went on. Then, at 26, I knew something else was wrong with me…& not because I had symptoms or anything else to put my finger on. I just knew. Fortunately, I found a rheumatologist who didn’t think I was crazy & worked with me until he figured it out.

He diagnosed me with another progressive autoimmune disease (Ankylosing Spondylitis, an autoimmune arthritis — not to be confused with osteoarthritis — that affects the spine & everything attached to the spine, causing back & hip pain & stiffness, pain in the heels, fatigue, other joint pain & swelling, chronic widespread inflammation, digestive & sleep disorders, skin rashes, eye inflammation, anemia, & eventually leading to the spine fusing completely, even with treatment) that will likely see me crippled before it is all over & done with. I even developed major depressive disorder (aka MDD or chronic clinical depression) after the second diagnosis due to my pain level & quality of life, as well as the relationship between pain & depression (they use the same pathways in the brain: that’s why people in pain often get depressed & depressed people frequently experience physical pain). I’ve even learned to see these illnesses not as curses as I used to, but as teaching tools I can use to help others deal with their chronic illnesses.

At 32, I had to stop working. I was about two-thirds of the way through a six-year period where I slept less than 1 hour per night, every night. I wasn’t functioning well & was having a difficult time keeping up with work. When I got laid off in 2010, I tried to find another job. However, the whole time I knew I’d have a challenging time doing any job, between my sleep deprivation, how that deprivation affected my health & the extreme depression I was suffering from. Something had to be done! Humiliating though it may be, I went home. My mother is a physician & knew some great doctors. Our deal was that if I took care of my mother’s ill partner (who was sick with Behçet’s Disease, the worst autoimmune disease I’ve ever come across) full-time, she would help me get better. It worked, even if taking care of my stepparent was no picnic!

Along the way, my chronic illnesses & sensitivities often impeded my efforts & progress, not only in their respective areas but throughout my life. It took many of those years to realize that I was also in my own way. So, how could I learn to cope with my sensitivities & chronic illnesses in healthier ways, consciously use my gifts with deliberation & understanding, & not let my chronic illnesses run or rule my life? Unfortunately, I learned more about who I didn’t want to be from those in my life who had chronic illnesses than who I did want to be…so I had to, essentially, figure this out on my own.

I’ve spent years in therapy dealing with not only a lifetime of self-esteem issues (which, unfortunately, are common among us sensitive types) but also finding out what I could do with & for my sensitivities. I started learning all I could about being an Empath & finally put the name “Highly Sensitive Person” to my other sensitivities, which I have also studied in depth. I’ve learned where these sensitivities might come from, why I might have them & what it all might mean to & for me. I’ve also learned to see them not as curses, like I used to, but as gifts & life lessons I can use to help others deal with their sensitivities.

This became my mission over the last decade & a half: to learn all I could about these aspects of myself & my life. I rediscovered tarot & card reading within those 15 years & have made an intense study of it, as well as tarot coaching & life coaching. One day, I realized that card reading & life coaching might offer a less physically challenging way to help myself & others. So, I decided to start The Aviary.